The Woodpecker On Your Shoulder.

Just at the moment, if you live around Wyndham Road or Coach Road, you can, from a very early hour, hear the sound of a Woodpecker at work drilling away somewhere in the branches of Broad Oak. After a heavy night in the pub someone we know said that it sounded and felt as though the Woodpecker was on his shoulder attacking his head. I am sure that most of us have had that feeling at some time in our lives. For some it is a regular occurance.

Yes, its that feeling when you wake up in the morning and realise that a bloke with a sledgehammer is at work in your head whenever you move and that it feels as though people have been dancing on your stomach. Whatever pleasures you may have temporarily gained from last nights excesses are now replaced by the dread knowledge that pleasures have to be paid for, up to and including in the worst cases conversations down the big, white telephone. As you suffer under the duvet you swear by all you hold dear that you will never touch another drop, but by lunchtime many feel that a trip to the pub for a 'hair of the dog' is just the thing to straighten you out. Usually this is not the case. The best thing in the circumstances is usually a brisk walk with the dog and a day or two on the fruit juice and to try to remember the full horrors of what happens when you get the woodpecker on your shoulder.